VERMONT Where It's So Much Like Europe They Speak French

Vermont  [Connecticut][Maine][Massachusetts][New Hampshire][Rhode Island]

Pristine mountaintops covered with snow. Quaint farmhouses tucked in green valleys. Black and white cows munching on sweet grass. A tin bucket hanging from a sugar maple, collecting precious syrup. Images of Vermont... IN A PIG'S EYE!

A lot of people think they know Vermont. They've gone skiing there. They've been following the fad and buying all those Vermont-made gourmet foods. They love Ben & Jerry's. Hippies love Brattleboro, sentimentalists love the covered bridges. Everybody seems to love Burlington at the moment.

But hold the presses. For all this, Vermont is a very different place than you'd imagine. It does have beautiful mountains, green valleys, and cows. It's economy does have a lot to do with syrup, gourmet foods, and ice cream. The Grateful Dead almost got elected to the Senate -- before Jerry died.

But Vermont is also a place where a lot of poor people live in trailer parks. It's a place where rich people who call themselves environmentalists go and tear up mountains to make private palaces and ski slopes. It's a place where skiing is king and anyone who lives more than an hour out of Burlington is out of the loop. Vermont is also very liberal socially. Vermont's representative to the U.S. House, Bernie Sanders is a Socialist. Vermont has more pro-gay (or more correctly, anti-discrimination-against-gays) legislation than any other state in the nation. Does that rock or what? Bet you didn't know that! Vermont has a facade that's gone national, but it's a real place with real problems.

Speaking of problems, let me mention the hippies. OK, so there are all these suburban kids from all over New England who are really into the hippy thing. They do pot, listen to the Grateful Dead and Phish, and go around wearing tie-dye and hemp. They have long hair, dreadlocks, and beards. They have stock in Birkenstock and in college they major in environmental studies. They eat bad vegetarian food.

The Vermont connection? All of them go up there and pretend they're in heaven. They just hang out, smoke, and get into stupid arguments. They're always trying to be politically and socially and environmentally correct, you know. They love the Earth. They have the right to lecture you. Meanwhile they still drive cars, live off their parents' money, and spend more time high than they do actually changing anything. They're such hypocrites. WARNING: If you visit Vermont, you will meet these people.

One more thing about Vermont. It is the most environmentally conscious place this side of the Atlantic. They recycle. They reuse. You can't build anything and you can't tear anything down. Everything is strictly regulated. Don't mess around with Vermont, you hear?

So had enough? Or do you want to know more? Decide for yourself by opting (or opting out of) these links:

• The All-Vermont Pages
  Links to almost every town in Vermont.
• Boston.com's Vermont
  Mini-guide to VT.
• Ben & Jerry's
  It may be "crunchy," but it sure is yummy!
• Bennington.com
  A really cool town in southwest VT.
• Bennington College
  The most expensive college in the nation!
• Selected Vermont and New England Internet Sources
  Direct links to TV and radio stations, newspapers, state governments, weather news, etc.
• State of Vermont
  Official State of Vermont web site.
• This Is Vermont
  I think the title is self-explanatory.
• UVM (University of Vermont)
  The most expensive public univeristy in the nation.
• The Vermont Country Store
  This is the Vermont tourists come to buy. I like it... to a point... and usually people go beyond that point.
• Virtual Vermont
  Kind of makes me barf, but this is a good taste of the VT tourist industry, at least.
• Virtual Vermont: Cities, Towns, and Villages
  Info. on every hamlet in the state.

Congratulations! You've finished my tour of Virtual New England. Now, if you haven't been... GO NOW!